The Bully Cycle

“What are you going to do…sit on me, Fatso!”…..well actually yes I would!

Growing up as an obese child was tough. Kids made fun of me and I wasn’t able to play like my friends on the playground. One embarrassing moment came when I realized I could not use the Teeter-Tooter with any of my classmates, because I was larger than them. It was embarrassing, and hurt my feelings, but I didn’t want anyone to see me as weak. I was faced with a decision of being picked on or doing the picking, or at least I thought those were my only two choices! I will admit it…..I was a bully.

Now I can reflect back as to why I was a bully and realize how unproductive and hurtful my actions were. Kids made fun of me because of my weight. This in turn made me self-conscience and very sad. At that moment I could have chosen to be strong and not let others’ words hurt me, but instead I chose the wrong path: I fought back. If only I had realized that by fighting bullying with being a bully was so counter-productive, I probably would not have done it. Every school year, there would be new classmates introduced into the mix. I would have to reassert myself as the class bully in order to scare them into not making fun of me. This never worked as planned. I would get in trouble (although keeping my straight A’s in the grade book), I would also alienate myself from others and limit the amount of friendship I could develop.

Looking back, I wish I had the confidence I do now. People will always say hurtful things, but everyone needs to realize that it comes from weaknesses within those people, and are not actually geared towards you. I now realize that when someone bullies someone else, it is not to strengthen anyone, but brings down the bully and makes them look weak. Self-confidence builds virtue and will allow anyone to achieve their goals and ambitions. I will never bully anyone again!

Tracy Ryan works as a Director of Catering at Paramount Plaza Hotel & Suites. She was also starred in the independent documentary Unsupersize Me, winner of 4 film festivals. She has lost 200lbs in one year through a plant based whole diet and a regular work out routine. She received her MBA with a specialization in Human Resource Management but her heart has always been with food and beverage and especially event planning. In her free time she enjoys working out, running, and cooking for others.